I am sitting the parking lot. Without turning back, the boy saw shiny blocks in the corner and dove face-first into this new classroom. I like to read the back of his head as “Please don’t go! Don’t leave me, mama. Pleeeeaaaaaase!”. It could also have said “Whatevs. Peace out, hooker”. One can never be sure.… Continue reading Borrowing Strangers’ Babies & Other Innocent Pastimes
Britney Spears wanders into a Beverly Hills party. She mistakes Hugh Hefner for her grand pappy from back home and quickly sits on his lap to reminisce about that time he fought in the Second World Civil War of The Roses. Never one to turn a warm lap dog bunny away, Hefner mistakes Britney for… Continue reading The Very Writery Writer Writes The Written Words On Writing
Before the days of sippy cups and aprons, I worked weekend-in-and-day-out at a luxury apartment home community. In addition to enduring rigorous training to exchange terms like “luxury apartment home community” in lieu of “property” or “regretfully decline your application” instead of “We don’t want you” I spent whole hours clicking through on-line training courses… Continue reading Fair Housing: Give Your Kid A Credit Check.
Part of learning to parent is learning to functionwithoutsleep acceptpooponyourfinger identifyillnessfromboogercolor cook. For some this may have been a base already covered. I picture you jogging, nibbling on an apple. On the other end of the spectrum, I was faced with the harsh reality that Doritos aren’t made from real cheese and apparently deep-fried onion rings don’t count… Continue reading Sugar, Breakfast of Champions?
As part of the punishment reward for receiving The Memetastic Award, I was challenged to share four bold-faced lies with you, throwing just one truthful tidbit into the mix. As I detailed to reader and fellow Queen Meme, Dana, I cannot lie. Not properly, anyway. I had the added benefit of typing these falsehoods from behind a… Continue reading the ugly truth