Before the days of sippy cups and aprons, I worked weekend-in-and-day-out at a luxury apartment home community. In addition to enduring rigorous training to exchange terms like “luxury apartment home community” in lieu of “property” or “regretfully decline your application” instead of “We don’t want you” I spent whole hours clicking through on-line training courses… Continue reading Fair Housing: Give Your Kid A Credit Check.
Part of learning to parent is learning to functionwithoutsleep acceptpooponyourfinger identifyillnessfromboogercolor cook. For some this may have been a base already covered. I picture you jogging, nibbling on an apple. On the other end of the spectrum, I was faced with the harsh reality that Doritos aren’t made from real cheese and apparently deep-fried onion rings don’t count… Continue reading Sugar, Breakfast of Champions?
We woke Monday morning to a heavy snow drifting in unexpectedly, as the weatherman had confidently declared our area might see a light rain. Even the snow looked confused. Cow pastures? Eighteen Baptist churches in a 1-mile radius? I’m far too gentile to just go landing on any old Wal-Mart! I thought we were headed for… Continue reading The Divine Comedy: God is in the bathroom.
Several months ago, I attempted to shake my fat funk by amping up the old exercise routine. The “amping up” was relatively easy, as simply flexing my arm while eating ice cream would be a vast improvement from my static norm: cigarettes and coffee while reading about weight loss. My older sister helped to spur… Continue reading Chasing Pavement & Suspected Predators
I knew a girl who sucked her thumb. It was oddly charming at first, this twentysomething, collegiate Library Dweller plopping a thumb in her mouth as she tapped a busy pencil against the table with her free hand. If you passed by her quickly you’d think she was eating a lollipop. It wasn’t until I… Continue reading Dusting From The Fetal Position