Doors are locked. Checked. Unlocked and locked. She scans fierce eyes in a straight line from right to left then left to right. Perimeter clear, though the shadow of the neighbor’s night owl kitten beneath the street light seems ominous. A figure sweeps down the lane not far from her. She thinks to call the… Continue reading Sweet Night Horrors
As described by Urban Dictionary: 1. phat: adjective, phat·est, phat·er, phat· fo’ shizzle, phat· is whack 1. cool 2. Pretty Hot And Tempting ex: Dude! That ish is phat 2. phat: adjective, phat·est, phat·er, phat· fo’ shizzle, phat· is whack 1. A stupid word. 2. Stop using it. ex: Pathetic Kid: God, that chick is PHAT,… Continue reading Does This Photo Make Me Look Phat?
Anyone who’s ever organized a wedding knows that the best laid plans are paved with dumb intentions. Suckers are big, burdensome cobblestones just waiting for the chance to stub your toe. This being my first go at throwing a marriage party, I had to learn of my shortcomings the hard way. From hidden expenses to the realization that… Continue reading Dakota Jay Saves The Day: Why Your Bridal March Is Begging For Some Banjo
“BALL! Get a hand on the ball!” “Hit him hard!” “Look at the arms on that guy!” “Groin. Definitely, it’s his groin.” If you think I’m checking out hunks at the local bar, my answer to you is… I wish. Instead, I’m sitting chin deep in a bowl of cheese dip while men in my living room watch other… Continue reading Man Man Man Man Manly Mandonna & The Superbowl
Britney Spears wanders into a Beverly Hills party. She mistakes Hugh Hefner for her grand pappy from back home and quickly sits on his lap to reminisce about that time he fought in the Second World Civil War of The Roses. Never one to turn a warm lap dog bunny away, Hefner mistakes Britney for… Continue reading The Very Writery Writer Writes The Written Words On Writing