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It’s ALIVE!

I tap the fridge door closed with my right foot while completing a 92-degree turn to pour and place apple juice into a sippy cup  and onto a table. My husband swivels precisely to my left, avoiding a collision, plate of mac’n’cheese balanced atop bowl of grapes. Three steps back he takes. Two-and-a-half forward for me.… Continue reading It’s ALIVE!

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O come, let us adore Him.

This might be an understatement, but my overall thought on Christmas is “Oh my Lord, babies are the best!”.

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Emo Baby’s Least-Hated Song is “Toddler Wasteland”.

Like with every other act of parenting, I put on my straight face and made things up. I saw a glimpse into the future with a toddler listening to Dashboard Confessional while crying fresh tears into his black nail polish and let me tell you one thing: Mama ain’t about all that.

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Blessed Be The Bored

The best thing my parents ever did was kick us out of the house. I get strange looks when I tell people that. I think they picture 5 barefoot innocents roaming and starving. They half-laugh uncomfortably in hopes that I’m kidding. Then that blatant pity stare washes over their faces. They want to pat my back sympathetically like… Continue reading Blessed Be The Bored