I tap the fridge door closed with my right foot while completing a 92-degree turn to pour and place apple juice into a sippy cup and onto a table. My husband swivels precisely to my left, avoiding a collision, plate of mac’n’cheese balanced atop bowl of grapes. Three steps back he takes. Two-and-a-half forward for me.… Continue reading It’s ALIVE!
This might be an understatement, but my overall thought on Christmas is “Oh my Lord, babies are the best!”.
Like with every other act of parenting, I put on my straight face and made things up. I saw a glimpse into the future with a toddler listening to Dashboard Confessional while crying fresh tears into his black nail polish and let me tell you one thing: Mama ain’t about all that.
Just tell me your secret, Domestic Wizard. I want my money back.
The best thing my parents ever did was kick us out of the house. I get strange looks when I tell people that. I think they picture 5 barefoot innocents roaming and starving. They half-laugh uncomfortably in hopes that I’m kidding. Then that blatant pity stare washes over their faces. They want to pat my back sympathetically like… Continue reading Blessed Be The Bored