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Oh, The Places You’ll Go! : Straight to Hell Edition

     When people learn that my son was over 10 pounds at birth, they usually get this horrified and empathetic face about them. They speak consolatory words while inadvertently staring at my crotch. I never understood this because a push is a push.  A hole is a hole, and a head is a head. But… Continue reading Oh, The Places You’ll Go! : Straight to Hell Edition

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My Maja, Who Art In Blog Land

It started with THIS. My mom penned a pretty perfect post for The Ramblings as I drank too much wine and got too much sand in my crevices over summer vacation. The response from readers was overwhelming in its goodness, exactly what I expected, exactly what family and friends have urged and cheered on for… Continue reading My Maja, Who Art In Blog Land

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TGI…WTF?

   I ain’t got no job. So days and weeks don’t mean what they used to. My Monday is eerily similar to a Saturday. The daily grind, this time lacking the set-schedule and paycheck, is what spurred me to start referring to any given week as a blob, a giant hunk of time not segmented… Continue reading TGI…WTF?

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Borrowing Strangers’ Babies & Other Innocent Pastimes

I am sitting the parking lot. Without turning back, the boy saw shiny blocks in the corner and dove face-first into this new classroom. I like to read the back of his head as “Please don’t go! Don’t leave me, mama. Pleeeeaaaaaase!”. It could also have said “Whatevs. Peace out, hooker”. One can never be sure.… Continue reading Borrowing Strangers’ Babies & Other Innocent Pastimes

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But first, PLAN Z!

We had been dating for seven-ish months when I stared down the line of an at-home pregnancy test. I would have pissed my pants, but there I sat, jeans around my ankles, quivering bum set to toilet seat, bladder all emptied onto that tiny, plastic, life-changing stick. Before I could wrap my mind around the whole… Continue reading But first, PLAN Z!