Tagged with kids

Right Turn To Sunnyside

When I tell people my favorite memory of childhood holidays is the carpeted ceiling of a ’89 Caravan they get all uncomfortable: Was she kidnapped? Raised by gypsy drug dealers? Sold into a life of forced blogging, writing skills exploited by a cold-hearted pimp? Oh, the adventure! But no. It was a lot simpler than … Continue reading

All The Infants Who Independent…

… Throw a tantrum at meeeee.      My son wiggles free. I’m stuck clutching three pounds of stretched cotton balls and feeling ridiculous. I’ve wasted four bucks if I can’t just get the kid to dress up as a tampon. Not to mention that piece of “emergency”rope I cut from the garage door for a makeshift pull … Continue reading

And Minnie Mouse? She was a meth head.

The family sits all friendly enjoying a family friendly episode of The Fresh Beat Band about a bunch of friends who love each other like family. The boy jumps and sings off-key, but his impressive shoulder rolls and fist pumps distract from the sound. I make a simple observation. Simple Observation: “Oh. That’s weird. They replaced … Continue reading

I, meet Me.

My dad tells this charming story about the time he found the Jeff Nelsons of America. The story became charming sometime around 1993 when I realized that in addition to going by Dad, Daddy, Daddio, (whiny voice) Duh-aaaaad, and The Tennessee Wooden Spoon Spanking Machine, my father also- for some reason or another- went by Jeff Nelson. As I … Continue reading

A Year of { extra super much good + Mimi too }

So I fail decisiveness. I suppose the whole “Oh. I don’t know how to care about color schemes, can you bloggers just plan my wedding? ” bit is probably a little telling. When trying to narrow down my favorite lesson learned this year, I flip-flopped and fence-jumped and contemplated tricking you guys into voting for … Continue reading