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Be Nice or Leave…and with that I’ll make my exit.

     The smell of lilac and Bengay floating through the air. This air, confused as all visitors, is warm and stagnant, unable to breathe or roam without the swift kick of an air conditioner. Floral patterns hug plaid and hold hands with toile. The pale blue carpet wags its shags atop and in between your toes, offering comfort and coziness that… Continue reading Be Nice or Leave…and with that I’ll make my exit.

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A Piece of Quiet

“An inability to stay quiet is one of the conspicuous failings of mankind.” -Walter Bagehot I’m wearing slick socks to ensure a definite lack of creaking floorboards, I’ve turned off the television much to the dismay of my pint-sized president of The Mickey Mouse Fan Club of America, and I’m whisper typing these sentences despite my ritual of singing… Continue reading A Piece of Quiet

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blame it on the juice

    My kid is better than all kids. This thought, stuffed full of ego and superiority and such, has kept me sane throughout my first year-and-then-some as a mother. I’ve secretly delighted in the whoop-ass shaming local toddlers cast upon their frazzled mamas in parking lots and sandwich shops, public restrooms and detergent aisles.… Continue reading blame it on the juice

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The Time Your Dad Was Pregnant

Dear Child,      Today you visit the scary, sanitized doctor’s room again to have your stitches removed. You earned your first badge of boyhood last week in a fall that left your sweet eye sliced and later stitched. This morning, as your father swirled around the house in an anxious tizzy, I spotted myself in… Continue reading The Time Your Dad Was Pregnant

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Hornish Kens: Mattel Offers Boys A Mentor In Manhood

     My son received a doll for Christmas. Not just any old, sissy plaything, this doll was for dudes only. Henry, as he is called, teaches young, diapered men the skills of shoe tying, velcro-manuevering, and buttoning. Within a matter of weeks my one-year-old adapted such finger agility that he could lace up a sneaker with… Continue reading Hornish Kens: Mattel Offers Boys A Mentor In Manhood