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Chain-Smoking Carnies & Bearded Ladies: A Child’s Party

I am a stickler for details. This is something old history professors found most impressive. Mostly everybody else finds this most obnoxious. If I was penning a paper on the origins of popular euphemisms, for instance, I would latch onto the old adage about beating a dead horse. Then I’d go out robbing equine graves. I’d… Continue reading Chain-Smoking Carnies & Bearded Ladies: A Child’s Party

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Funny {Cheap, Lovely, Crazy, Funky} Valentine

I run into the market for some milk. I navigate the crowded card & candy aisle. Worry-slapped men blink panicked eyes: The funny card or the sentimental one? Box -shaped box of chocolates or heart-shaped? Flowers or… Forget it. Nobody’s worth $50 and a half-dozen weeds. Condoms- presumptuous or just well prepared or both with… Continue reading Funny {Cheap, Lovely, Crazy, Funky} Valentine

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A Very {Peter Gallagher} Christmas To You & Yours, Friend.

Happy Day After Thanksgivi- Oh. Oh, ginger snap. I’ve just been told that we’ve experienced a few snows, it’s no longer November, and apparently the anniversary of Jesus H. Christ’s birth is this week. There is a  surprise fiesta of colorful twinkle lights draped across an artificial tree in my living room, and a toddler… Continue reading A Very {Peter Gallagher} Christmas To You & Yours, Friend.

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it takes two & it used to take only one.

Today you are two. This used to not be the case. Yesterday, for instance, you weren’t nearly so many. I guess things can’t help changing all the time. Today we are reading your favorite book On The Day You Were Born. You point at the tiny stars on the page. I cry and cry and… Continue reading it takes two & it used to take only one.

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If It’s Any Consolation, Bob Barker Was A Close Second.

Dear son, Today is Halloween. I’m sorry. When you get older I’ll teach you important lessons about manners and tying shoes and thinking before you act. I always think before I act, but as I am sure you’ve realized, your dear mother’s train of thought is mostly the problem. I’m sorry.  Last week, unable to… Continue reading If It’s Any Consolation, Bob Barker Was A Close Second.