Tagged with baby

And They Call It Puppy Murder.

 Hey. Hey wait! Wait everybody. Hold up. I have something funny to say…  annnnd nevermind. Just gas. This week has been a series of unfortunate events. I am currently using frozen garlic bread to ice a foot that I miraculously injured via sitting still.While hopping on one foot to gingerly protect the sprained other, I rammed the good leg’s … Continue reading

it takes two & it used to take only one.

Today you are two. This used to not be the case. Yesterday, for instance, you weren’t nearly so many. I guess things can’t help changing all the time. Today we are reading your favorite book On The Day You Were Born. You point at the tiny stars on the page. I cry and cry and … Continue reading

Fair Housing: Give Your Kid A Credit Check.

Before the days of sippy cups and aprons, I worked weekend-in-and-day-out at a luxury apartment home community. In addition to enduring rigorous training to exchange terms like “luxury apartment home community” in lieu of “property” or “regretfully decline your application” instead of “We don’t want you” I spent whole hours clicking through on-line training courses … Continue reading