My last post was about breaking routines, deviating from the regular route, living wild and free (so long as you have a superbly generous babysitter). These time-as-open-as-a-field days were beautifully lazy. They mostly consisted of not doing the things I was supposed to. I enjoyed them so much I took another and another and then 30. Long story short, I got, perhaps, carried away. You could say I out freedom-ed myself. That post was a month ago because BLOGGING SCHEDULE AIN’T THE BOSS OF ME! And while I was at it, I don’t have any pants that currently fit because HEALTHY DIET PLAN BE DAMNED! And I purposely put on socks before getting out of bed to avoid the nauseous barefoot feeling of stepping on mystery crumb juice because CLEANING DAY WAS INTERRUPTING MY FREEDOM! Oil change, vet appointment, hair cut: NEVAAAA! I realized I had a problem when a cashier asked for my Kroger Card and my first thought was YOU CAN’T MAKE ME! Poor girl just wanted to discount my cheese, was all.
I woke from a free-flowing fog to realize the blog had grown damp and dusty and the pants got smaller and smaller and the house got to looking more and more like an episode of Hoarders starring a hoarder who hoards and hoards and hoards whilst smoking Crack. My untamed hair had morphed into a mullet. The dog might have a combination of Rabies and Bordatella. My car started smelling of burnt rubber. I spent thirty-two minutes just trying to figure out where this blog was and how to sign in and also how to type because if you haven’t travelled a certain way in a long, long while you seem to forget the directions. And even then, when I discovered my blog wasn’t inside my e-mail account and my password wasn’t PASSWORD, I shook my head around trying to remember how to actually write. WHAT’S IS THE WORDS? Upon attempting to schedule this post I ran into math problems. I didn’t know what day it was or is until just now when I grabbed my phone and begged “Where am I and what time is it and is this real life, Siri? Please help”.
It is March 18th and the year is 2014 and I live in Tennessee, apparently. So it’s high time I got back in the saddle… again. Except that euphemism is ridiculous because Hello, Life. I clearly don’t have time to ride a horse right now. I’m one month and a world away from getting caught up with basic living. But after having committed no acts of fitness for a long, long while I slurped on the spandex pants and went for a run (wallllk). I found the power button on the old laptop and am taking this here blog for a whirl. I dusted and swept up the dirts and got very disgusted with just how many dirts there can be in one house when no one has dusted or swept. The dog will get a plethora of shots today to ensure she doesn’t start foaming, frothing, and looking for humans to eat. I have a haircut scheduled for Friday, and I figure this mullet will be a most unsightly and humiliating price to pay until then, penance for the lazy sins.
And here, again, I’m reminded of a thing called Balance, that too much of a good thing seems good until it’s bad, and that I really am not the bitch who needs to be completely let off the leash. Now begins the work of reigning it in.
What’s been keeping you busy?