I’ve got some pretty important news.

I am 93.2% finished with a really prolific piece of *work which has the capacity to change the world.  It’s poignant, mind-bending, and a little brilliant. Words almost aren’t enough to describe it. It’s… it’s… it’s…

… not done yet on a count of a last-minute visit from a fabulous friend and her caravan-o-kids. Ever the gracious host, I immediately dropped everything (save for the donut in my mouth) and got my house in order for their afternoon arrival.  Preparations were exhaustive and as always high-class. [Read: pre-ordered a metric ton of pizza and put on my  fat pants for maximum leisure while girl talkin’]

Fear not, loyal reader. I plan to debut the piece of blogging gold immediately after our guests hit the road. [Read: Immediately after our guests hit the road and I take a nap… or two] Until then (tomorrow), I offer you a slew of ideas in the way of recreational activities to keep yourself busy.

While I’m away you could…

Form an exciting new fear of dolls!
Form an exciting new fear of dolls
Get outside for some fresh(ish) air!
Search for hidden treasure!
Use The Very Retro ShakeWeight!
Make a new friend!

Make a sister want a gallon of 2% and a Marlboro!

*Ok. You caught me. So maybe I’m working on a vlog about rhythmic jogging. Oprah **says it’s “disturbing and something every human should watch in order to grow from mistakes of yore”.

**Or at least that’s what I think she’d say if she saw this sweaty, 6-feet of lady jiggle walking to ***Ke$ha’s song.

*** You know. That ****one about getting drunk in a club and love being her drug but also partaking in real drugs because the love drug was just metaphorical.

**** No. The other one about substance abuse. Or, you know what? Just all of them.

21 thoughts on “Announcement!

  1. Ha! Even your non-posts are better than most of my actual posts! Hilarious – can’t wait for the next (is it really a vlog?!).

    P.S. – I really want to eat some pizza in my fat pants with you and look at more of your wedding pictures. I’ll bring the bacon-flavored vodka (YES, it is a thing!!).

  2. You know you’re pretty damn funny when Sara starts reading your posts out loud to me. Seriously! That’s what she did. You should not quite finish more often, my friend. You’re a hoot!

  3. I had this wooden doll growing up. Her face was peeling off, her body had disintegrated, and one eye was sunken into her head. My grandmother made her a new body, and I loved that doll. A kid once ran away from a playdate and her mother never let her play with me again, we think all because of that doll. And I loved her to death. She completely fell apart and went to dust when I was in my teens, and I was so sad even then.

      1. You are totally “with it” (is that what the kids say?) as far as I can tell. I should disclose that I just figured out that phones can e-mail and send photos and the whole discovery makes me just want the boring safety of my old house phone back.

Ramble on, little rambler...

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