Ready, Set, Go Change. Those fringe shorts look whorendous.

Ah! Nothing like some 90’s rave music to start a post off right. I danced to this song as a 9-year-old. We wore hot pink fringe booty shorts, curly pony tail wigs I always feared came from abused ponies, and gobs of stage makeup. These catchy beats remind me that I am a trailblazer for slutting it up long before those toddlers in tiaras were whoring across our airwaves. These catchy beats also make me mourn my childhood. But enough about three-year-old hookers in hot pants. The real point behind sharing this musical wonder is to ask (in deep, hip-hop tones complimented by groovy background vocals) “Are you ready for this?”.  {Also contemplated the use of one Miss Bee-on-say’s delightfully vain track “Bootylicious”, but I still don’t know what she meant by “I don’t think you ready for this jelly”. All I know is that I don’t think I’m even ready for it.}

And by the “this” I pray thee readies one’s self for, I am talking about a little of THIS

and THIS

with a little of THIS

and a lot of THIS. Of course, I couldn’t forget some of THIS

and THIS

and maybe my favorite part of the day (you know, besides the hitchin’ bit), THIS.

 Da duh duh da da da duh duh duh duh da da da duh duh duh duh da da da duh duh da da- holy duh duh damn! Who wrote this mess? Feels like a seizure in my mouth. Rhythmic missteps aside, we have a whole proverbial Hefty bag full of fun things to share. Starting Monday, May 21st we’ll kick of WordPress Wedding Week! The style, the food, the aspects you picked out brought to life: you’ll hear every last detail. Ok. You’ll hear every interesting detail. I took a couple of pee breaks and I think my Aunt sneezed, but we’ll leave out those goodies.

Want to know who those stranger boys are crashing my wedding with a banjo?

Want to guess how I managed to incorporate the words “Pop Tart”,  “Hemi”, and “Breakdancing” into my vows?

Who got in a bar fight?

Where did that hipster bike cabbie drive us?

Which guest stormed the dance floor and interrupted the sweet Father/ Daughter dance with an obscene pelvic thrust?

How cool is blogger friend and guest Kathy in real life?

And what, for the love of gel, did my go-to beauty girl do to make that Bloggy Beehive defy laws of gravity?

I got some answers, some weird friends and family, and pictures to prove it all.

You, bloggy wedding planners, just get ready.

27 thoughts on “Ready, Set, Go Change. Those fringe shorts look whorendous.

  1. I can’t wait to hear how you worked “Hemi” into the vows! And all I know about “all that jelly” is the phrase “must be jelly, ’cause jam don’t shake like that”. I THINK it’s complimentary, but I am so behind the curve, I couldn’t see the curve from the top of Sears Tower! :D
    (And to all who want to correct me that it is now Willis Tower, I say “Fooey! Once Sears Tower, ALWAYS Sears Tower!” ;) )

      1. Actually, to be honest, I save FAR stronger phrases than “fooey” for those Willis Tower types…. :D

  2. Love that photo of us, Tori! How sweet. Can’t wait till next week! And just in time for the next family wedding. (Sadly, however, Sara an I aren’t going to be able to go to Atlanta.)

  3. Also, this pic of you & Kathy may be my favorite ever. Your face here, my girl, is the essence of you.

  4. Genetics makes me comfortable guessing the pelvic thrust was most likely your wee one. You look gorgeous- those red shoes are fab!

    1. Yay! I really had planned to run these posts, um, immediately after the wedding. Then I was horrified to find that a toddler, a dog, and a new house wouldn’t just give me a few hours a day to type :)

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