To The Victor Goes The Comb

Oh, hair puns. I just can’t quit you. After last week’s hair-raising post on wedding hair, I’ve dedicated large chunks of my life to creating hair jokes…while wearing styrofoam curlers…while giving my toddler a french braid…while we jam out to Hair: The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical. Turns out my boy needed more than an inch of hair to pull off the look and my singing voice is just shrill enough to alert the neighbors of not-so-impending tornadoes.

So, this morning I walk around the house looking like the meth head cousin of Miss Shirley Temple (the unfortunate result of  sporting curlers for 72 hours straight) all out of hair-related hilarity save for one, very important issue.

This weekend you greeted Rachel from Lovely Day Hair & Makeup. You rocked the vote, and if my mental image of some of you is correct, you rocked the vote while rocking mullets. Given the choice between two looks (one sweet, the other sassafras), the overwhelming majority jumped on the funky train and selected…. {drumroll please}….


   Thanks in large part to my mother (who I later found was threatening my sweet grandmother’s well being to dictate votes) and the furiously fabulous Andra Watkins of The Accidental Cootchie Mama (who may or may not but really did campaign for the retro look on social networking sites), this Monday I am here to inform you that as far as this here wedding is concerned, the beehive is the bee’s knees. You know, if bees had knees.

Now enjoy some deep, metaphorical quotes about beehives while you picture me wearing a beehive.

9 inches of puffy, magical fun.
“If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.” -Dale Carnegie
Because in the most literal sense you’d be kicking me in the head… literally.
“Our treasure lies in the beehive of our knowledge. We are perpetually on the way thither,
being by nature winged insects and honey gatherers of the mind.” -Friedrich Nietzsche
Yeah, yeah, yeah… The treasure lies in the beehive on my head. No really. That thing is huge. I hid snacks in it.
“When you hear buzz around the beehive, you know they’re making honey in there.” -Terrence Howard
Or I have lice. Buzzing, angry lice. Do you know how hard it is to wash a beehive?


25 thoughts on “To The Victor Goes The Comb

  1. You will undoubtedly be a beautiful bride, but for me the look is more about your dazzling smile and the twinkle in your eyes. And, who knows, with enough hairspray (or a bit of sticky honey) you can probably preserve that hive for days . . . 🙂

  2. Love! The beehive if for sure Retro and funkalishious so it’ll fit the theme for sure! Plus who doesn’t like cat eyes and red lips? Nay I say only non Americans even perhaps terrorists Haha! Can’t wait to see the final results all come together!

  3. HOORAY!! I was seriously debating setting up multiple fake blogging accounts, just to vote for that beehive again and again. I’m happy to hear it won the vote, even without me resorting to cheating! 🙂

    1. Best. Description. Ever. Geeze, Matt. I should’ve had you write that post! I love the beehive look. I’m not exactly the ringlet curl/ princess kind of girl, so a little funk was welcome!

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