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These Boots Are Made For { Wedding }

I spent hours scouring countless ads on Craigslist.

I almost bought a ’71 Chevy from a guy named Burt. Daydreaming of what kind of impressive mustache I hoped this Burt donned, I nearly missed the part where his car was missing two tires, an engine,  four windows, and a hood. Tricky Burt, your Chevy is a bike.

I made friends with a lovely lass named Veronica. I was excited to meet such a personable potential coffee mate, but then things got sour. She wanted $100-per-hour to hang out and kept reminding me that she worked as a professional masseuse although I’d never asked.

I was offered a lucrative at-home, totally-not-a-scam job with potential to earn upwards of $500,000 a year. I just had to divulge my social security number and date-of-birth and then mail a blank check to a PO Box outside of Oklahoma City.

And then I found what I’d been looking for. Filled with such glee and overwhelming relief at the sight, I was just sure this was the happy ending Veronica had been talking about!

No car, no new friend, no promised paycheck could compare to this Craigslist treasure. I found….

Craigslist goes Cowboy

BOOTS!

Why the love affair with discount dosey-doe-ers?

Several months ago, one of the first posts dedicated to my reader-planned nuptials asked *Very Bloggy Wedding planners for creative centerpiece ideas for our retro-country wedding.Ever the creative and clever bunch, readers delivered with the brilliantly funky concept of western boots as vases. Behold the Bloomin’ Boot:

I loved the notion of using a standard country staple in a modern, out-of-the-box way for our little Big Day, and immediately set out to buy some boots!  After the price of new boots proved to be a budget buster, I focused my search on popular resale sites. While declining internet chat messages from Veronica ( I appreciate the subtle innuendo of a screen name like lusciousbooty4u), I met Pam, a middle-aged local woman who is most likely not a professional masseuse. Pam did not offer to rub my back, but what she was offering was sweet, twangy, sweet, sweet music to my pocketbook.
Pam’s ad: ” FOR SALE: 6 PAIR OF COWBOY BOOTS. NO PICS. $60 OBO”

Tori: “YAY. YAY! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!”

Pam: “Pardon?”

Tori: “So excited about your boots! Double!! Wait. You’re not trying to get me to “solicit” other “services” are you?”

Pam:You messaged me. Do you want the boots or what?”

Tori: “Yes! Also glad you’re not Veronica”

Pam (Not A Hooker): “Whatever. When can you pick them up?”

Tori: “What does OBO mean?”

Pam of No Patience: “It means you’ll pay me 60 bucks for them. That’s what it means.”

Tori: “Great! I can get them from you Friday!”

So, Pam doesn’t exactly want to be friends, and I figured out the concept of Or Best Offer haggling a little too late, but I saw that my $60 was well spent when I set eyes on the glorious trash bag full of old boots. First I lined up all twelve shoes in the living room. Then I spooned with them on my bed. Next I stacked them high in a pyramid of pretty in the yard. Then I sniffed, and the dirty boots still smelled of cow patties. And finally, I washed my sheets.

Last Tuesday the honeymoon phase with these beloved wedding decorations came to a halt when I realized that while the boots were perfect in their duty as footwear, they might need a little help to blossom into the Bloomin’ Boots you had in mind. The boots, each pair a different style with intricate braiding and stitching, also differed in color. Some black, some brown, some mustard-meets-mayonaisse, they would surely clash with the lovely color scheme and various decor details already selected by you, my wedding planners.

So yesterday, I hauled my bag-o-boots into the open air for some spray paint and Southern sacrilege. In the distance I heard Patsy Cline moan. Crazy. Crazy for tainting ho-ly booooots.  For the love of Nascar, was that The Dolly Parton joining in to voice her disapproval, too?

False alarm. My neighbor just ran over a child squirrel.

Regardless of what some country folk might consider the unforgivable maiming of a perfectly good cowboy accessory, I shook the sin out of some cans of spray paint and gave the boots a spritz. To see your idea through to the finish, cast your vote for best boot below!

OPTION #1: Rustic & Rugged

Naked Boot

Four of the boots from non-hookering Pam are similar shades of tan. They are a tad shorter than the rest of the boots, but are in great shape (like Veronica… or so she says). Floral arrangements would need to be on a lower/smaller scale to match the size of these naked boots.

OPTION #2: A Pop of Color

Like if that “pop” hopped up and smacked your face. Coordinating with our red and icy blue color scheme, the boots are more modern in bright hues. To tone down the bold color of the boots, flowers and  decor around the boots would be kept light.

OPTION #3: I HATE EVERYTHING!

Three Boot Mafia says Yee-To-The-Hizzaw

If both options make you gag, that’s cool, too. Leave your suggestion for a cute book makeover in the comments section!

Choose your favorite & leave a comment below!

Voting  will stay open all weekend. I’ve got a dinner date with Burt and Veronica. Something tells me Burt’s paying.

*Check out the Very Bloggy Wedding page

to see the wedding progress

you’ve planned so far!

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37 thoughts on “These Boots Are Made For { Wedding }

  1. Oh NO. I mean, Tori, OH NO! It is absolutely positively bad ferocious luck to have footwear on a table where one is to eat food. I couldn’t read the whole post this time because of my quaking fear. I will immediately scour the universe for a loophole to this curse so you may have your beautiful idea step forward and waltz with reality. I like the colourful ones, just in case. 🙂

  2. I like the natural color! I don’t think that leaving them natural will clash with your wedding colors at all, I mean, they are cowboy boots after all! Or you could just leave them all the way they are, you know for the whole diversity factor. Gotta have some somewhere in that country wedding of yours! 😉 The colorful boots could be on like the family tables, and the natural ones on the normal peeps. You could work something out if you didn’t want to color them all

  3. I like them all mixed together, too, but like Marie, I’m a little freaked out by the used footwear on the table thing. I hadn’t started following your blog when you decided on table boots. Oh, how I wish I’d been there to say, “No, Tori, no!!!!!!!” Perhaps there’s a boot-shaped, non real boot alternative? I think the whole concept is very cute, but you said they smelled like cow patties and I’m scared! 🙂

    1. Hahahaha! I must be a total dirt girl because the idea doesn’t freak me out at all! They will be totally clean and set far away from where people will be eating. Because the venue is open, most of the seating is actually big sectionals and club chairs!

  4. I like them all mixed together too. It looks like you need an option 4, use all of them and just enjoy.

  5. Everything looks better naked, right? Except people. At least most people, including myself. I definitely look better clothed. But I digress. My vote is for you to use the boots au naturel and then to re-sell them on craigslist. Have you thought about using Mason jars as vases too? A friend of mine had an outdoor wedding reception and she used mason jars (prettified with sheer colored ribbons) to display hydrangeas. They looked great (she also hand-glazed the jars but that sounded like a lot of work and they didn’t necessarily need it). good luck!

  6. I love the mixed look, the more color, the better. Now if you can only find a few dainty glass slippers for the mandatory champagne sipping. Of course, a few of your bloggy wedding attendees may not care if the champagne is coming out of a boot or a slipper. 🙂

  7. I adore this whole idea, regardless of what colors you pick. I do like the practical advice to leave them alone and then resell them after the wedding. However, I like the mixed up colors, too. Hmmmmmmm…..

    I am going to vote to leave them alone and let the flowers give the pops of color.

  8. I’m totally down with mixing them up! And I don’t get the “no boots on the table” phobia. But, I sleep with dogs, so that may explain a lot.

  9. My personal preference would be to use none of them, but assuming their use is inevitable, I’d vote all three. 🙂

  10. I am not sure if you are placing them all together or in separate spots. Mixed colors are better when together. Natural looks better alone. That’s what I think.

  11. My daughter DJ had her uncle Jesse take her boot shopping last weekend. I think I’ll send him to Craig’s list.

  12. Gotta love Craigslist! If not to buy, for the sheer entertainment of it.

    Boot idea is awesome! and don’t change the color! I bet there will be fights over who gets to take the center pieces home!

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