It’s a nice day for a (Hello Kitty-glitter-cupcake-Bieber themed) White Wedding!

    A curious niece climbed in my lap yesterday, mesmerized by the glowing pictures of flowing gowns and flowery tables lighting up the computer screen. I explained to her that this was Wedding Planning Season and it was time to get down to the business of beautifying things. She, of course, jumped on board, and I felt confident that if ever there was a little girl capable of girly-ing up a place it was her. Side by side we scanned through crafty websites, glossy magazine photos and the like. With her first declaration that a violet taffeta monstrosity was “THE Dress!”, I understood that the pint-sized diva did not plan on infusing the event with a little sass. She aimed to drown the party in it. Here is the  my simple, elegant, personalized sassy, fabulous, glitter-n-pearls, unicorns, daisies, hot pink leopard print wedding according to Nev:

What does it mean to get married? : Kiss! You twirl around, and boys hold onto your hips. The boy picked you up. When your married you can take a shower together. {giggle}. I can’t wait till I get married. Guess who I’m gonna marry when I get big? Avery in my class. But just when I’m like bigger and bigger and bigger.

The Invitations: You send them Hello Kitty ones. Like I bring ’em to school and my friends get them. I have a lot of friends. You can get glitter ones and smelly and soundy ones.

THE Dress: “Flowers and a wedding boy! Glitter sparklies. Not boring sparklies. Pink glitter because I like pink… and glitter.”  {When asked what a wedding boy is she rolled her eyes, proclaiming that I should “know better”.} “Big boys wear boy suits with a bow.”

The Jams: ” I hate jelly. If you’re makin’ me peanut butter I don’t want no jelly.” {Explained that “Jams” can also be tunes of the musical persuasion} “Justin with the swoopy hair. Like Baby, Baby, Baby! And Princess! Princess Musics like Princess Frog! (Princess & The Frog?)

The Menu:{Nev with seriously serious face} Cupcakes, hotdogs, cupcakes, cereals, eggs, ice creams, grits with cheesy, cupcakes, pops like suckers,barbecue wings, HOT macaroni. Wait! Ew! Ew! Ew! Chicken on a STICK. That’s cool. Oh. And Pixie Sticks. Them is sticks full of sugar. Cookies and cupcakes.

Vows: Huh? I wouldn’t have those.

The Decor: You throw the glitter out. And then you have Hello Kitty candy thing (pinata)  like at my birthday. You beat it and candy falls out all overs the ground. You has to run and get you some. Oh! And then. And then you have night lights for the dark. My mom throwed mine away. You want me to tell you why? Because hers broke it. Yous…you could have cotton candy like pink clouds! And then like dolls. Wait. This gonna be my party?

{Nev learns that we are not planning her wedding. Insert juvenile heartbreak.}

Flowers: {No answer. I realize she has left the room. She returns some time later asking for ice cream for breakfast. I remind her that we are planning my wedding and I need her help.}

Aunt Tori: We still need to talk about flower girls and cake! Doesn’t that sound fun?

Nev: Blank stare.

Aunt Tori: Ewww. Did you just toot?

Nev: Yep. I’ll do it again if you keep talkin to me.

    So, there you have it folks. We are going for the shock-and-awe approach to wedding festivities. With Nev’s help we’ll have the first vow-less, two-song playlist, sugar but no veggies please, glitter-tastic wedding! Lucky for me, I also had you guys pulling planning duty. Thanks to Kathy at Reinventing The Event Horizon and the lovely Britney P., The Very Bloggy Wedding has a funky, Nashville-inspired centerpiece concept. I introduce to you THE BLOOMIN’ BOOT.

Nev says "Add. More. GLITTERRRRR!"

Nev told herself a ha-ha and selected this photo instead:

Classy. But more importantly... pink.

53 thoughts on “It’s a nice day for a (Hello Kitty-glitter-cupcake-Bieber themed) White Wedding!

  1. Oh, that sounds like a classic four year old princess – hilarious! I think she is heading for a career as a wedding planner, you should really let her go to town on yours, see what happens.
    Vows really are overrated.

    1. I’m saving this post for when she gets married. I’m going to offer to help with decor and show up to the party with bubble machines and metric ton bins of glitter 🙂

  2. The only thing I would suggest is that you arrive at the wedding sitting side-saddle atop a lovely, pink unicorn. After the ceremony, instead of throwing rice at you and your groom, your guests should toss packs of Fun Dip. I think Nev would agree. 😉

    1. Hahahahaha. Oh, your comment cracked me up. I looked into renting a unicorn, but apparently placing such a “big-boned” lady on the fragile, magical being causes the PETA folks to get all irate. According to the Weight Chart, I’m gonna need a hot pink elephant 🙂

    1. Deborah, I’ve been red-n-blotchy for MONTHS. Wedding planning makes me want to poke my eyes out. Luckily, between readers and my crazy niece, this whole thing is actually fun!

    1. Hey girl hey! Thanks for stopping by! I’ve decided that Nev will get a very special, VERY pink seat at the wedding, complete with Hello Kitty ribbon and glitter paint 🙂

    1. After talking it over with her, I’m pretty sure this whole shindig is going to look like the inside of Ke$ha’s brain. Scary but so dern bizzare you can’t stop staring!

  3. I’ve got about half a dozen comments on the second centerpiece, and all of ’em would get me KILLED! 😉 So I’ll just say, you had me at the menu! (Holy Cavities, Batman!)
    Seriously, I do like the boot idea, but are those boots brown or deep purple (the colour, not the band! 😉 )?
    “Soundy cards.” Sigh. I remember when sound in greeting cards was a big deal. First Mark, then you. What is this, National Make-Me-Feel-Like-An-Old-Fart Day? (Don’t answer that, please. I don’t have enough Geritol in the house!) 😀

    1. Haha! Bloomin’ Boobage was what came to mind! I’m not sure what color those boots are, but I think we’ll probably use white or light tan… or if Nev has her way Pink With Light Up Heels And Dora Design boots. I don’t really get the singing cards thing either. Normally I’m too freaked out that the thing started squawking that I don’t remember to actually read the message 🙂

  4. Good planter ideas. I made a planter out of a guitar I found in the trash. I put a plant in the sound hole and hung it on the wall and everyone thinks I am Mr. Hacienda. When I find one in the trash, I will do the same with a piano. What do you think of that cool idea? Rhapsody of Flowers. I will have to get a bigger apartment though.

  5. That was great! Something to remind her of when she’s planning her own wedding. 🙂 Sounds like she throw quite the party! I had a blast at her party and eat lots of cupcakes. Nothing beats a good cupcake.

    1. She couldn’t be bothered by the “boring stuff” like vows, officiants, or wedding traditions. I have a feeling her plan for the big day would last about an hour. People show up, eat more sugar than is remotely healthy, whack a Hello Kitty pinata, and head home with glitter stuck in shoes and hair.

  6. In the last year or so I have been working as staff at a function hall. I went from having gone to maybe 4 weddings in my whole life to 60ish in a matter of a few months. So I feel reasonably qualified to say that your niece is a pro! I would highly recommend following her advice! Comparing her plans to some of the weddings I have worked at is like comparing a Mardis Gras parade to a waiting line for a rest room! Shear genius I tells ya!

  7. The only problem is, in my experience at least, the showering together usually ends when you’re married. Had I known that going into the whole thing, I might have had second thoughts and saved myself a whole bunch of grief!

  8. aww how adorable! if only life could be that grate all the time.. i want that back..simple..fun..carefree. to have sparkly hello kitty invites..now that would be awesome. and i do love the floral arrangments especially the flowers in the bra… im kinda tempted to try that.

  9. This wedding has been done before, by one of the women on “Married to Rock.” She had a hot pink, Hello Kitty-themed wedding. Unfortunately, she isn’t four years old. That said, I think Nev has a real future as a wedding planner.

    1. Haha. Wait. The lady that swung into the ceremony on a thirty foot circus contraption? I think I saw that episode. I think I thought she might have the mental capacity of a four-year-old 🙂

  10. well…..a vow less wedding means a jump on the festivities, right? And who wouldn’t come to your wedding ready to party without the Hello Kitty Invite? 🙂

  11. I think I’ve just decided that your Nev interview posts are my very favorite. 😉 She is so cute. And, seriously, Aunt Tori, you really ought to know that weddings are for two things: 1. wedding boys and 2. taking showers together. For serious.

    1. Taking showers with the wedding boys. I’d like to know how I managed to graduate from school (including the awkward Sex Ed classes) without learning this important information!

  12. You have to get everything ‘bloomin’ thang!

    I expect to see those boots and bras stuffed! Hmmm, but what funny thing you could you place inside that isn’t flower related?

    OH! I forgot, my sister-in-law gave us silly string to shoot at them! That was a lot of fun. It dries quickly and easy to clean…rolls up into a ball. Also, at their bridal shower (co-ed) their party planner had a list of questions about the bride and groom. They had to answer what they’d say and what the spouse would say. Think Newlywed game. When they got something wrong, they had to shove a stick of hubba bubba or bubblelicious in their mouth. After 4 or 5 pieces, Rich couldn’t even move is mouth. There was a huge wad. 🙂 Ha!


  13. I dont understand why everyone is laughing…Nev is SPOT ON with the whole 2 song playlist ( more just costs more money…and how many songs do people REALLY listen to anyway) Hello Kitty is the shit and everything goes better with glitter.

    As for your centerpiece- blooming boobies gets my vote. I got married last year- wish I had thought of that! It would have been ON, girlfriend!

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