It’s Yertle The Turtle Again, Isn’t It?

As a college student, I briefly nannied this horrible shit of a Kindergartener. I say “briefly” because when one’s head and heart tells them to address a 5-year-old as a “shit” (even internally), it becomes clear that career choices at some point were askew. Also his mother paid me like a blind beggar, insisting she was shoving silent … Continue reading »

The Bellhop’s Belly Button & Other Honeymoon Adventures

Today marks my second Monday as a married woman, my fifteenth nap in a 72-hour period, and my third mostly ridiculous calculation of weird life events. I’m ashamed of that sentence as I mostly hate when peppy teenage girls mark their two-and-three-quarter-months anniversaries to high school beaus or when the shaky-handed cashier at the dollar … Continue reading »

You are (super much) cordially invited…

… to the root tootinest event in the South. For a wedding that has adopted the unconventional mantra of “Yee-To-The-Hizzaw”, our upcoming nuptials are sure to be funky, fresh, and overflowing with sugary, home-grown goodness. This confidence comes, of course, from the fact that dedicated readers are planning the whole shebang. You’ve all jumped aboard … Continue reading »