I am sitting the parking lot. Without turning back, the boy saw shiny blocks in the corner and dove face-first into this new classroom. I like to read the back of his head as “Please don’t go! Don’t leave me, mama. Pleeeeaaaaaase!”. It could also have said “Whatevs. Peace out, hooker”. One can never be sure. … Continue reading »
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And They Call It Puppy Murder.
Hey. Hey wait! Wait everybody. Hold up. I have something funny to say… annnnd nevermind. Just gas. This week has been a series of unfortunate events. I am currently using frozen garlic bread to ice a foot that I miraculously injured via sitting still.While hopping on one foot to gingerly protect the sprained other, I rammed the good leg’s … Continue reading »
Scary Funny
He wore a god damn yellow bow tie. He spoke in tones that swooped low before looping high in the air. He seemed to always hiccup and swallow giggles. The Mad Hatter. Cheerful Circus Freak. Clumsy. Goofy. His voice was a rollercoaster swerving wildly in directions that made you nervous laugh from the adventure and imminent … Continue reading »
Tornado Drill: Where’s My Cubby?
As a kid in Tennessee, you know a few things to be absolute truths: 1. Sweet tea is not truly sweet unless your eyes bulge a little after the first sip, and a sugary muck greets you when your last sip meets the bottom of the cup. 2. Nascar and cows bring you closer … Continue reading »
Oprah wins Happiness…. by 1.5 billion points.
Queen Oprah unveiled a new quiz developed to gauge a person’s overall level of happiness. I consider her a guru on gladness. She will never hurt for cash. She has a boyfriend that is not even thinking about domesticating her. And as we learned this week, she even has suprise siblings! Because I trust her opinion more than … Continue reading »
