He tells me it’s my birthday. I’m 26 today, he says. I pop an aspirin, rub a cranky ankle, and all I can think to add is “Hmm. Allegedly”. Continue reading »
Tagged with satire …
Common Sense: Interrupting My Freedom Since 1987
“A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one,” said Rita Mae Brown. To which respond, “False. Unless peacefulness is a code word for snot rags, tires of belly fat, and Wrinkly Old Baggy Face Syndrome.” Oh, and here’s some explanation. A California woman recently sued the manufacturers of Olay Regenerist anti-aging products claiming the company boasted … Continue reading »
The Bellhop’s Belly Button & Other Honeymoon Adventures
Today marks my second Monday as a married woman, my fifteenth nap in a 72-hour period, and my third mostly ridiculous calculation of weird life events. I’m ashamed of that sentence as I mostly hate when peppy teenage girls mark their two-and-three-quarter-months anniversaries to high school beaus or when the shaky-handed cashier at the dollar … Continue reading »
The Really Wise Kind of Wisdoms: Web Edition
Someone surprised me with a copy of some life improvement literature not too long ago. I remember the specific disappointment felt when I reached out a hand for said surprise and got 300 pages on why I suck at parenting and need to live exactly as I am not living. I learned that day that not only does “surprise” … Continue reading »
The Very Writery Writer Writes The Written Words On Writing
Britney Spears wanders into a Beverly Hills party. She mistakes Hugh Hefner for her grand pappy from back home and quickly sits on his lap to reminisce about that time he fought in the Second World Civil War of The Roses. Never one to turn a warm lap dog bunny away, Hefner mistakes Britney for … Continue reading »
