OUCH! That was me…feeling your pain?

I dated the nicest boy once. He had pretty eyes and a habit of opening doors for me. Above all else, he was the only person I’d met who matched my awkward and then raised. So we said sweet things to one another, held hands, and ran into walls together. For a brief time, we … Continue reading »

I Brought Tori into This World. Yer Welcome.

*I went on vacation. I left my mom a few states back and told her to get to work. My blog’s not going to write itself. Here are the fruits of her labor…. Ew! Labor. Without further ado, I’ll hand it over to The Mimi.  Tori is in my womb.  She is active and in charge.  … Continue reading »

Is Wayne Brady Gonna Have To Choke A Dish?

I’ve been in love with The Wayne Brady for some time now. I love his lack of fashion sense, his humor, and most of all his complete lack of shame. We’re kindred spirits, you see? The first time I set eyes on his ill-fitted turtle neck, glowing, white tooth regions, and dark, silky skin, my … Continue reading »

old enough

I sat down to write a post about the simple things in life. My modern robot of a coffee maker malfunctioned, spewing Hazelnut Sunrise across the kitchen walls. I cleaned up, a quick swipe I thought, before finding smudges on the cabinets that just couldn’t be left alone. I stopped scrubbing when my phone chimed … Continue reading »

Stealth Slithering & The Meaning of Friendship

We were 19. That was my age, mind you. I was probably pushing 12 on a maturity scale, my adoration for lip gloss and boys still a holding strong. Tooty Fruity Lip Smackers and  Any Boy With Armpit Hair And A Car, word. Many of my poor decisions involved agreeing to play Edward Forty Hands … Continue reading »