But first, PLAN Z!

We had been dating for seven-ish months when I stared down the line of an at-home pregnancy test. I would have pissed my pants, but there I sat, jeans around my ankles, quivering bum set to toilet seat, bladder all emptied onto that tiny, plastic, life-changing stick. Before I could wrap my mind around the whole … Continue reading »

Fashion Forward… Backwards, Inside-Out & Hogtied

I wipe the kid’s nose on the bottom of my shirt while simultaneously swiping my sweating forehead with the collar. I scratch my tangled ponytail only to find a leaf lodged scalp-deep. I laugh when a little girl runs by, stopping to point out the rainbow of chalk handprints smacked across my stretchy pants. The wind blows, … Continue reading »

Be Nice or Leave…and with that I’ll make my exit.

     The smell of lilac and Bengay floating through the air. This air, confused as all visitors, is warm and stagnant, unable to breathe or roam without the swift kick of an air conditioner. Floral patterns hug plaid and hold hands with toile. The pale blue carpet wags its shags atop and in between your toes, offering comfort and coziness that … Continue reading »

A Piece of Quiet

“An inability to stay quiet is one of the conspicuous failings of mankind.” -Walter Bagehot I’m wearing slick socks to ensure a definite lack of creaking floorboards, I’ve turned off the television much to the dismay of my pint-sized president of The Mickey Mouse Fan Club of America, and I’m whisper typing these sentences despite my ritual of singing … Continue reading »

The Best Bad Mom

   I read a book once. It was all downhill from there.   When a little plastic stick told me a baby was on the way, I gave that solid pink line a fake smile and swallowed some panic. This would be the first of many improvisations as a mother to be followed by a … Continue reading »