As a college student, I briefly nannied this horrible shit of a Kindergartener. I say “briefly” because when one’s head and heart tells them to address a 5-year-old as a “shit” (even internally), it becomes clear that career choices at some point were askew. Also his mother paid me like a blind beggar, insisting she was shoving silent … Continue reading »
Tagged with love …
Does This Photo Make Me Look Phat?
As described by Urban Dictionary: 1. phat: adjective, phat·est, phat·er, phat· fo’ shizzle, phat· is whack 1. cool 2. Pretty Hot And Tempting ex: Dude! That ish is phat 2. phat: adjective, phat·est, phat·er, phat· fo’ shizzle, phat· is whack 1. A stupid word. 2. Stop using it. ex: Pathetic Kid: God, that chick is PHAT, … Continue reading »
The Bellhop’s Belly Button & Other Honeymoon Adventures
Today marks my second Monday as a married woman, my fifteenth nap in a 72-hour period, and my third mostly ridiculous calculation of weird life events. I’m ashamed of that sentence as I mostly hate when peppy teenage girls mark their two-and-three-quarter-months anniversaries to high school beaus or when the shaky-handed cashier at the dollar … Continue reading »
Mostly Completely Sunny: The Wedding Day
“But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine.” – Thomas Jefferson I walked around the quiet streets of Nashville this morning all alone. It was a peaceful place and time, and I could not help but … Continue reading »
Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
The Sanctity of Reese’s I am getting married in three days, but today? Today I am searching for the world’s largest Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup , preferably one shaped like a heart. It will be the strangest wedding gift for the strangest wedding to the strangest man I’ve ever met. I’m also strange. It all makes … Continue reading »
