it takes two & it used to take only one.

Today you are two. This used to not be the case. Yesterday, for instance, you weren’t nearly so many. I guess things can’t help changing all the time. Today we are reading your favorite book On The Day You Were Born. You point at the tiny stars on the page. I cry and cry and … Continue reading »

Fair Housing: Give Your Kid A Credit Check.

Before the days of sippy cups and aprons, I worked weekend-in-and-day-out at a luxury apartment home community. In addition to enduring rigorous training to exchange terms like “luxury apartment home community” in lieu of “property” or “regretfully decline your application” instead of “We don’t want you” I spent whole hours clicking through on-line training courses … Continue reading »

Just give me one stuffed animal. One will do.

A year  into Baby’s Sleep Training, and I think it is safe to say the boy is trained. I fully understand that by acknowledging his extreme sleeping talent aloud, he will more than likely stay awake for the next 72 hours just to spite me. Well, Fates be darned (strapping up in lightning retardant helmet). … Continue reading »

Dawg, I wished for deaf.

My ears are sweaty. Two hot messes of lobes, desperately trying to drown out the noise. This is me wearing earmuffs in 90 degree heat. This is me learning a lesson. I can talk a person’s ear and face off. No matter the topic of discussion, the time of day (or night), or the absence … Continue reading »

Always The Baby’s Maid, Never The Baby.

I can confidently say that I’ve left the insecurities of my youth behind. I can go to dinner with my much thinner friend and not want to sneak mayonnaise into her salad. I can flip through racks of pants at Target without mumbling profanities and curses at all the size-2 labels. It’s all maturity and … Continue reading »