The best thing my parents ever did was kick us out of the house. I get strange looks when I tell people that. I think they picture 5 barefoot innocents roaming and starving. They half-laugh uncomfortably in hopes that I’m kidding. Then that blatant pity stare washes over their faces. They want to pat my back sympathetically like … Continue reading »
It was explained to me that WordPress selects the best of the best blog posts and features these elite writers on the front page of glory known as Freshly Pressed. I got Freshly Pressed one Friday a hundred years ago. I was sweet back then and very unsuspecting, so the whole ordeal led to a genuine display of gracious surprise. My modest reaction … Continue reading »
He tells me it’s my birthday. I’m 26 today, he says. I pop an aspirin, rub a cranky ankle, and all I can think to add is “Hmm. Allegedly”. Continue reading »
EMERGENPSYCH emergenpsych (v): To accidentally instigate mass hysteria ex: Jane texts her boyfriend “OMG. Having a baby”. Realizes too late that part 2 of her message failed to send. Figures she’ll just tell her boyfriend on their next date that she meant to say “OMG. Having a baby aspirin. Pulled a Glute in Zumba class”. Wonders why boyfriend … Continue reading »
It was a lovely day. The type of day when the sun can’t possibly shine so bright, but it does. The breeze can’t be just gentle and mild enough to cool your skin and leave your hairstyle intact, but, magically, it is. We spent the morning driving down a two lane highway past tiny townships … Continue reading »
