Who you be?

I’m Tori or, as some readers call me, T-Dawg, What’s Wrong With You, Ice T Hold The Lemon.

I’m not one for long walks on the beach, candle lit dinners, or slow jazz. A 2-liter of Diet Coke with Peter Gallagher sounds downright dreamy.

But why are you trying to woo me? I’m married.

In fact, I failed the old eggshell vs. hard white vs. soft white test so hard that I let blog readers plan our entire wedding.

You can read about that wacky matrimonial masterpiece here.

I’m a Music City mama, sharing my outstanding accomplishments in the field of parenting

(read: who knew Wham! was not an acceptable baby Halloween costume?)

I’m a humble master chef, decorative-ball-busting crafter, respected spiritual guru… and a total lying liar.

I’m a serial smiler.

I’m a solo flash mob dancer.

I’m a hot mess.

Despite my shortcomings I lucked out with a gaggle of hilarious and brilliant readers. Our post-post conversations are better than any post I write, and I am forever in awe of their wit and great hair and super cute boyfriends. Also, I always wanted to sit at the cool kids’ table.

More than anything, I find  humor in the humdrum and write all about the extraordinary things we think are quite ordinary.

My personal mission is to (after winning a hot dog eating contest and teaching my kid some Tupac wisdom) show that there is no boring life.

So pull up a seat, that 2-liter of Diet Coke. Prizes awarded to anyone who gets Peter Gallagher to show up to this party.

And let’s ramble on.

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@toristoptalking

Interested in contributing your ramblings? A little comment shy?

Email me at tori(dot)nelson@yahoo(dot)com