Rugrat Rager & The Half-Pint Heathens

One guy just straw-stabbed and shot-gunned an entire Capri Sun in ten seconds. Another dude is sloppy swallowing cupcakes way past his personal capacity. Someone tells him he’s had enough and he throws a fit like a total baby. There’s always that certain point past which each burp threatens to become barf. Some girl dances to no music in the corner while another two chicks are acting too cool for this shindig. They still smile as a bunch of bro’s make cross-eyed faces and poot noises from their belly buttons. A brave one gets macho when he tries to steal another man’s new remote control car. Calmer heads prevail, and we narrowly escape a full-on bar brawl. By the end of the house party, I survey the damage: someone missed aim in the bathroom, ground littered, faces covered in slobber, sprinkles stuck in hair, and an overall expression of zombie-ism. Ever responsible,  I tell the  crowd “Y’all are drunk, and I need a nap”, and send them on their way. Lucky for me they all came with designated drivers… because they are four.

As I’m cleaning icing up off the floor with a toothpick and a prayer, it occurs to me we’ve reached the stage in life in which a two-hour, mid-afternoon toddler birthday party has all the trappings of the crunkest, hypest, cray-cray-est throw down. A bunch of sugar-doped kids, Animal Bounce House, and a little freedom makes for one riotous rager. Today we’re still sleeping it off, hung over and sure to regret some things when we sober up (I’m looking at you, kid who tried to fly off side of inflatable castle. You too,  kid who licked paint during crafts time).

While Thomas begs for more frosting (Hair of the dog, eh?) and I settle in for a nap, enjoy these pics of the boy’s Racecar Party.

A PHOTO JOURNAL OF HALF-PINT HEATHENISM

aka

KIDS THESE DAYS

aka

THE PROBLEM WITH AMERICA

About these ads

27 thoughts on “Rugrat Rager & The Half-Pint Heathens

    • Haha. I want a (totally-undeserved) Super Mom cape. I’m trying to enjoy the parties at home while they last. I know before too long he’ll want me to order pizza and leave him and his friends alone. Have to throw the parties while he’ll still hang out with me!

  1. Y’all are braver than me to try hosting a mini-pack of four year old boys in your house! Sounds like it was a huge success. Enjoy your 364 days of recovery.

    • That’s the kicker. Thomas would be happy with a cupcake. I have fun doing the party stuff and having all the kids over. I know that before too long he’ll be at an age where having his friends hang out with his parents will be the lamest thing ever. Just enjoying this phase for a little while!

Ramble on, little rambler...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s