I ain’t got no job. So days and weeks don’t mean what they used to. My Monday is eerily similar to a Saturday. The daily grind, this time lacking the set-schedule and paycheck, is what spurred me to start referring to any given week as a blob, a giant hunk of time not segmented like the traditional 9-to-5ers. It usually takes a couple clues for me to learn what day of the week it is. When I call my worker bee sister and have this conversation, I can safely assume it is probably day time on a Monday or maybe Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday:
“Hey girl. So, what’s up?”
Lily: “Um. Not much? Did you need something?”
“No. Oh muh Gawd, so I painted my nails this nude color. It’s super realistic. Nude really is nude. Now it looks like I’ve got ET fingers and a genetic inability to grow nails. Just ten inch finger flesh. Anyways, what are you up to? Ew girl. Did you get a landline or something? Your house phone is ringing off the hook. Seriously.”
Lily: “I’m at work. Because I work… and it’s Tuesday… and I work on Tuesdays. Soooo….”
On the flipside, I often wake before the men in my house. Every week there are at least two occasions when I vicariously panic, rush into the master bedroom, and yell “Ahhh. It’s already 7. It’s already 7, Tom. Get up. Get up. Get up. Tom. Work. Seven! Get up!”. These two times are typically (always) Saturday and Sunday.
All of this is to say that, well, I put this post together to celebrate the end of your work week! Happy Friday! It’s a Here’s A Fun Read To Waste Your Weekend post. I fail time once again. But while I rush out to buy a current Fancy Cats In Hats calendar and try to remember to use it, your Happy Friday came early. So TGIWhatever The Hell! Here are some good, good things to feast on this fine Friday.
Avett Brothers’ new album
Gangsta home decor for my uptight suburban walls
TLC’s new show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo makes us all feel a little better about ourselves.
Educational literature, like Everybody Poops… with more death & stuff. And… wait for it…..
“We’ve seen Snooki & JWoww, we’ve seen The Pauly D Project and now we’ll get to see all the other side projects! I’m already looking forward to Vinny’s talk show, Feelings with Vinny, Deena’s dating show, Meatballin’ with D and for Mike to get a job as a waiter at Denny’s.”: Jason Shapiro’s hilarious article for HelloGiggles, a look at what life will be like now that Jersey Shore’s been cancelled. My theory? An immediate drop in STDs across the East Coast and air that suddenly doesn’t smell like hair gel and Axe Body Spray.
Other Good Things In Random Order of Goodness:
Beautiful Weather That Doesn’t Make Me Sweat Like An Armenian Wrestler
Coffee & Jittery Fingers (That’s how you know the java’s workin’!)
A clean house (courtesy of superhuman coffee-powered speed)
Milk Duds on sale (STOCKPILE!)
Kids spontaneously rapping (Wait. Is that just my kid?)
Jodie Foster as Nell. “Do no kay, chickapea”. I, too, enjoy tay, tayin’ in nuh wind.
Bacon, bacon-flavored icing, bacon, bacon, bacon.
What good things get you through the week?
And seriously, is it only Wednesday?