Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

The Sanctity of Reese’s

I am getting married in three days, but today? Today I am searching for the world’s largest Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup , preferably one shaped like a heart. It will be the strangest wedding gift for the strangest wedding to the strangest man I’ve ever met. I’m also strange. It all makes perfect sense if I take you back to our beginning.

Peanut Butter is for LOVERS Cup

   “I just don’t understand why you love those so much,” I say to him. He scrapes the foil from another Reese’s and pops the candy into his mouth. He nods to let me know a response is on its way. I wait another three minutes while he works the gooey peanut butter from his gums. Still sucking remnants of Reese’s from his teeth, he shrugs his shoulders and says, “I just do”. I’m a little disappointed that I waited so long for such an explanation. We’ve only been dating a few weeks, and I take this as another lesson learned about this strange, new man. I add “simple” to the mental roster on which I’m tracking his noticeable traits. It goes behind “older” and “funny” and “might be stalking Tiger Woods” but before “Sela Ward fetish” and “fan of purple business shirts”. For the sake of playing fair, I offer him one of my most noticeable traits and start questioning the godforsaken life out of what should be a very easy topic. “But why chocolate and peanut butter? Why not chocolate and berries? Chocolate and bananas? Chocolate and more chocolate?,” I press him. Without batting an eye, he responds “Why bacon and eggs?,” and I am left stunned to silence by his quick thinking. He is speechless, too. His mouth newly cemented with the chocolate and peanut butter anomaly.

    Time passes. There are more dates, more notes taken of one another, more Reese’s wrappers scattered around us at any given moment than I care to count. For his birthday I adorn his beloved Reese’s Cups with a flashy bow. For Christmas his stocking overfloweth with the bite-size miniature cups. Glory unto Reese’s in the highest! Easter hops along and with it a bunny- shaped Reese’s gifted with love from me to him. I put my pride aside and grow to enjoy the sweet treat I had so harshly questioned. Before long,  Days That End In Y, 1:00, and Just Because become impromptu holidays in dire need of some Reese’s celebration. Soon we share a home, and in that home there is a kitchen, and in that kitchen there is a bowl who never fails to hold the glorious orange-clothed candies.  I try to find peanut butter scented perfume  to further woo this man I am starting to love. I settle with dabbing my neck and wrists with the real deal. I don’t mind the chocolate stains my sleeves are gathering because, in the end, I do seduce him. I also put a little peanut buttery love spell on  every stray dog in middle Tennessee as well as a few incredibly touchy homeless folks. Everybody loves a snack, I learn. I just love being in love.

    What good is a love without a lovechild? As he sliced his teeth past chocolate and into that expected peanut butter surprise, I offered up a little surprise of my own. He was speechless again, though this time it was hard to tell.Is it the scientific impossibility of speaking while consuming generous portions of Reese’s or the mathematical certainty that I was pregnant? Reese’s, girl,  you ain’t the only one with a full belly.

So close to naming the boy Reese it wasn't even funny.

     Nine months and twenty-three pregnancy pounds of peanut butter cups later, a son enters this world. We can not understand this sudden love, this rapid obsession with a strange little ball of human we just met. Then again, we still can’t think put into words why we so treasure the bundle of joy that is a King Size pack of Reese’s Cups. So we chalk it up to divine mystery. We nestle a newborn close to chest (while cradling a Reese’s cup so warmly beneath the tongue).

    One night I rock a raging, wild baby in the wee hours of When All Things Should Be Asleep. I snatched a bottle from the  fridge, a Reese’s from the bowl, and sit nourishing mother and child into submission. To the tune of love, I channel Nat King Cole. A pasty white, red-eyed,  sleep-deprived, and snack-happy Nat King Cole: ” ‘R’ is for the way you ruined my boobs. ‘E’ is for every time I’ve said ‘Ew’ while changing your pee. ‘E’ is for… um closing your eyes. S is for  ser-i-ous-ly, sleep right now. ‘E’ is. Seriously,  Word? Like you needed another ‘E’?”. The baby sleeps soundly. From my singing or his twenty straight hours awake, I can’t be certain.

Seasons pass and soon I am cleaning up red and green tinsel while the man of the house breaks down the Christmas tree. The smaller man of the house plays with his favorite gift, an empty shoe box. Distracted by the mess, I notice some time later that I’ve let the toddler out of my sight. He has a hankering for chasing cars and nose-diving off of furniture. I rush about the house anticipating the sounds of bodily injury and mass destruction. I find him. He’s found his father’s stocking hidden greedily away from the rest of us. He has a hankering for scaling walls and Reese’s peanut butter cups, I see. Tiny, rabid kid fangs have chomped straight through the foil wrappers. His innocent face is stained with criminal evidence of Christmas candy hijacked. We are all speechless: the father from the devastating loss of a giant bag of Reese’s, the mother from awe and wonder at a young boy’s ninja-like  candy-snatching skills, and the son, well, from the inability to break the peanut butter-y glue sticking his tongue to his face.

    We plan a wedding, finally ready to say in front of everyone what we already know. We’ve chosen each other. I sit down to write my vows as the baby naps. At a loss for words, I scribble down the only thing that is honest: “I just don’t understand why you love me so much.” And I remember those first notes I took about him. And I remember questioning the goodness that is Reese’s. And I remember all these scenes of a life we’ve built together shining like the golden foil of Reese’s. And it is fitting that this life of ours is marked in memories of Reese’s, chocolate and peanut butter, rich and sweet, worth the fat. Some years and some love and some lovechild, a happy path of Reese’s wrappers leads me to understanding that there is no real answer. There is no explanation how life can be so sweet it leaves you speechless. There is no good reason such a quirky combination should marry in such perfect harmony. There is no sense to it. ” I just do,” I remember him saying, and I am so glad he just does.

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***TODAY’S SPECIAL***

 On this historic day, otherwise known as Wednesday, 19 of your favorite humor bloggers are staging a WordPress coup.  We have banded together to discuss the important topic, Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.We are all presenting the same topic, each from his or her particularly unique perspective.

 Why this topic?  Why now?

Since when have any of these blogging fools made sense? Simple answer: Because it’s fun, and ridiculous, and fun.

 Click below to check out other Reese’s Pieces & gobble up the entire, yummy bag of 19 posts.

Bon Appetite!

The Big Sheep Blog

Childhood Relived

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Fix It Or Deal

Play 101

k8edid

Lenore’s Thoughts Exactly

Life In The Boomer Lane

Peg-o-Leg’s Ramblings

Refrigerator Magnate

Running From Hell With El

She’s A Maineiac

The Byronic Man

The Good Greatsby

The Monster In Your Closet

Thoughts Appear’s Blog

Unlikely Explanations

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39 thoughts on “Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

  1. I know I saw a two pound Reeses cup somewhere once. If I had time, I would send it to you for the big day. Happy few days before the wedding. I can’t wait to hear about the big day. Don’t eat too many peanut butter cups.

  2. Aw, what a fabulous love story! I am soooo excited for you guys and your upcoming Big Day. What’s really weird is my husband and I were married (to each other, strangely enough) this very weekend 12 years ago on April 15th! And, if you check out my post I have a picture of that momentous day. Might give you guys some great Reese’s ideas for your wedding reception.

    Congrats to you, Tori!!

  3. Reese’s: the stuff of love. Can’t believe you agreed to tackle this with the big day looming – and deliver so spectaculary. Have a wonderful, wonderful day!

    Whoopety, whoppity woo!

  4. Ah, yes…
    the mysterious ways of the candy-ninja…
    *distantly ringing gong*
    *bows*
    *distant gong*
    *bows*
    *Really? Again with the gong?*
    *bows / attempts stealth-mode PBC consumption* :)

  5. Tori, you look so happy in these pictures! :) They are great. And your post gave me goosebumps. Your rhythm was perfect, and really kicked off with this line, “Soon we share a home, and in that home there is a kitchen, and in that kitchen there is a bowl who never fails to hold the glorious orange-clothed candies.” Sounded like the opening of a book. Set the scene. And in its repetition, it drew me in. And I was in, actually leaning closer to the screen, so that when you dropped this line, “At a loss for words, I scribble down the only thing that is honest: ‘I just don’t understand why you love me so much.'” I actually fell back in my chair.

    Beautiful. Relatable. And yes, honest.

    Many happy wishes to you and your wonderful family. May your wedding day be a perfect beginning to the next chapter of your life.

  6. I missed the memo–but then,God knows, I’m not a humor blogger. Beautiful post, Tori. I’ll be writing about going to the wedding tomorrow, if you want to use it in any way. See you Saturday, sweetie. Can’t wait!
    Hugs,
    Kathy

  7. I told you this morning that I had a Reese’s Cup with my breakfast. We put them in the freezer. I don’t know why that makes them better, but it does.

    I will wear my Nashville hoodie on Saturday in honor of your wedding day, Tori.

  8. I hope the Reese’s company takes note of this coup and rewards all the participants with, oh, I don’t know… peanut butter and chocolate? :) Can’t wait to hear all about your wedding, Tori!

  9. Tori, Sorry I’ve been MIA – I will have lots to catch up after this project is done. Didn’t want to miss the chance of wishing you BEST OF LUCK for your big weekend! Thinking of you and sending my bloggy best for your nuptuals!

  10. Tori! I’ve been MIA as well (prepping for a move overseas) but I am wishing you many blessings, blue skies and fantastic friends and family at the Very Bloggy Wedding this weekend. I peep in occasionally to check out your progress and I just know it’s going to be a glorious day because you’re marrying the one you love. Plus you’re just super cool like that. Try to soak it all in, it goes so fast!

  11. Beautiful story! May your new marrige be bound by the sweet and savory peanut butter cup. Good luck and happy wishes for your wedding. By the way, perhaps a garter laced with peanut butter cups would be fitting ;)

  12. Since WordPress fails to deliver your blog to me anymore (really, what could be the problem?) I missed the Reese’s memo, which causes me huge amounts of grief because I think I have found my kindred spirit in your new husband. Anyone who worships this candy of all candy and its perfect symmetry of salty and sweet, is alright by me. A week late, but you have my full blessing with this union!

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