In the Week household, Wednesday is the mild, middle child. She is quiet with the knowledge that she is far better than her dreadful and vicious older sister Monday, slightly more appreciated than her screw-up brother, Tuesday, not nearly as pretty as her antsy little sister, Thursday, and will never, ever feel loved the same way as the free and giggly , dancing baby of the fam, Friday. Mother Saturday spends all week carefully eyeing Friday, anticipating the tot’s next milestone, while Father Sunday just sits oblivious, mumbling prayers at the kitchen table and circling matinée movie listings in the paper.
I feel for you, Wednesday. I am a middle child myself. Older sister steals your clothes, older brother steals a car, little siblings fighting for and winning paternal love. You enter the room only to see the visibly displeasure on people’s faces. As they roll their eyes you hear them confess, ” Ughhhhh. I thought it was Friday. It’s only Wednesday.” I know, I know, honey. It’s all so hurtful. But the greatest lesson my sib-locked scene has taught me is this: Don’t take your mommy issues out on the rest of the world.
You insist on being nicknamed Hump Day, which is terribly suggestive and unladylike. I can only imagine you are searching for love to replace the icy paternal demeanor you’ve come to despise. In a fit of defiance, you desperately try to draw out your time, hoping someone will notice you. Any attention is good attention, so you try to gain a little notoriety as the only 24-Hour Kid to drag on for 38-Face Palming-Hours.
I can tell you, after several spiky-haired boyfriends and poor life decisions like nose rings and jeggings, the immature crying out for attention will never change the domestic ebb and flow of things. You will, forever and always, be the middle child. You can, at the very least, make a few friends by schlepping out a favor here and there. Try to show a little sunshine, be kind to people and their bosses, and eventually you’ll get your day in the spotlight when a holiday just so happens to fall in your lap.
Here’s to aiming for the title of Fairly Blah But Altogether Pleasant, Wednesday.
Friends, I hope Wednesday is good to you!