We’re all about dancing that fine line between innovative and straight-up foolish around here. Of course deciphering the two boils down to opinion.
This blogger recounts her lady bits’ personal history: I like to think one day I’ll be known as Victoria C. KnowledgePants, Leader of The Commoncrotch of America.
A blogger lets her readers plan her wedding: I don’t know what other people (you know, the other, other people who haven’t already sent me nervous e-mails with the subject line THIS WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE FOREVER. DEATH AND CARNAGE! DEMISE!) think, but I’m feeling like we’re all one Bill Gates away from genius.
Sometimes (and always) this blogger might think she will be kidnapped at any moment: Ok. That’s dumb.
This blogger conducts a Tasteless Taste Test: Some might argue that tasteless is pretty much the norm around here. Others (the other, other others) might find flaw in such a seemingly contradictory experiment. You’re all right, and welcome to the world’s first FULL-SIGHT, SILENT, NUMB-BUDS TASTE TEST! (I hope you took a moment to tastelessly crack a tasteless joke about Numb Buds. I’ll wait…and giggle).
Seeing as how you guys are crucial to my wedding planning (read: Plan my wedding, y’all. I’m busy napping) I couldn’t very well leave you out of the most important wedding decision known to man and my pie hole.
Let’s talk food!
My favorite part of wedding food is the rubbery chicken atop slimy things that used to be called broccoli.
I am also a liar.
So when searching for a caterer, my main goal was to avoid the standard meat & veggie dish so blandly and often served. I wanted fresh! fun! different! BACON!
Farmer's Market Nashville
Enter Paul from Bacon & Caviar Catering. A branch of the very successful Nashville BBQ joint, Bacon & Caviar quickly topped my list of vendors to call and yell “GET IN MY WEDDING. NOW!”. Beyond the business’s blatant promises of bacon, I loved Paul’s take on our retro, Southern vibe. My concern: How do you serve southern food sans the sloppy atmosphere of Kentucky Fried Chicken? And in Paul’s most winningest moment in life, he responded “We don’t do cafeteria food”. They specialize in presenting country cuisine in modern and unique ways because sometimes your comfort food needs to take off the fat pants and act like a lady. From Paul’s description of display style to menu options, it was clear that this would be no vat-o-baked-beans buffet.
We were also delighted to discover that for the same price as serving a one-option plated dinner from other caterers (Pardon. That’s just my rubbery chicken squeaking), B&C could provide us with a great spread of heavy Hors d’oeuvre to please even the most finicky guest. In other words, vegetarians help yourself to the cheese and crackers, I’ll be neck-deep in the bacon sculpture over here.
Because I’m a little bit country and you’re a little bit ready to rock the vote, I present you with the Tasteless Taste Test, potential menus for The Very Bloggy Wedding:
OPTION #1
Any southern dish you think should make the list? Let us know! Or rearrange any of the yums already listed!
Delicious, right?
I had to chew on my finger just reading about it. I’m off to eat mac-n-cheese from a mixing bowl. You should get to voting!
Try adding Vega-que! see http://www.sandysays1.wordpress.com
# 2.
Mom
Hahaha. Mom. I think you’re hacking into the blog to vote under my name. Holler.
Gotta pass on anything seafood – I’m allergic AND I don’t like the taste. Not too big on sweet potatoes, either. I’d say a #3, swap the shrimp for something else (chicken?), and just to keep Blackjack happy, yank the strawberries in from #1. Does that work?
And if you actually have the guts/level of insanity to invite me, a barrel of triple-strength iced tea w/ lemon and sugar. That should get me through a quick lunch!
Ew that’s a good idea. I’m not big on shrimp, but anything wrapped in bacon is cool with me! We are going to vote on cocktails soon and I think we are going to include Sweet Tea Lemonade Vodka’s (or Drunk Arnold Palmer’s) as an option. Delicious AND drunk inducing
#2!!! GRITS! You will not be able to claim to have had a true Southern wedding if grits don’t make an appearance.
Good point. Also? BEACH TIME BEACH TIME BEACH TIME BEACH TIME.
BEACH TIME.
Use spinach/artichoke( not asparagus as mentioned above) dip as an alternative to tomato sauce with any type of pasta. Hot or cold. To die for.
I really should’ve eaten lunch before responding to comments. I want to eat my weight in spinach dip pasta immediately.
A mac-n-tini bar?! That is GENIUS. I don’t have to read any farther – #1 gets my vote! Although, if you can mix and match, call it # 4 and substitute the deviled eggs with bacon instead of pickled shrimp. I’ve got nothing against seafood, but:
A) The name of the caterer is BACON and Caviar, and
B) You’re in Tennessee. Tennessee is landlocked. ‘Nuff said.
I agree with Abby’s suggestion for grits, too!
Yeah. The seafood-n-eggs combo didn’t exactly top my list either!
Option #1!!! Oh that just sounds delightful!
Thanks for voting!!!
Absolutely #1! Pulled-pork sliders on corn breadsounds wonderful. But then I hate ham, so what would I know——————
Kathy
That would be ” . . . cornbread sounds . . .”
Kathy, it’s totally ok. I can barely speak right now. This food post has me in a slobbery coma of sorts.
As a veg*n of some variety any given day, I’m going to abstain from this portion of the voting, but not from saying I LOVE YOU. How could I not, as offeror of sentences such as the following? I like to think one day I’ll be known as Victoria C. KnowledgePants, Leader of The Commoncrotch of America.
I am still so tickled, you’d think I was eight years old. (I still am, at heart!)
Oh no! Deb did I totally gross you out with all the talk of bacon? Also? I LOVE YOU TOO! You can be VP of The Commoncrotch of America any day!
Mac & Cheese in a martini glass? How fancy – and cute! (I so want to try that
)
I second what Mark said above – like #1 but the deviled eggs with shrimp made my nose wrinkle (not in a good way.)
Yeah, I wasn’t sure about seafood and eggs at all. That might have to be one that we switch up a bit!
What are grits?
I’d be happy with the asparagus and artichoke… however being a brit through and through a martini glass should have some form of cocktail in it ( preferably a side car or such ).
I love it! I forget that no one outside of podunk country eats grits! They are like a mix between rice and oatmeal kind of! Super yummy!
#1, hands down! I love to put some pulled pork on my fork!
Sprinkles. I’m making you a Put Some Pork On My Fork t-shirt. I certainly hope you’ll wear it around town… a lot.
This catering company sounds delightfully awesome! I vote for menu #1… you had me at cornbread sliders. And the mac-and-tini is simply tooooo awesome to pass up!
Ew girl! Look at Jenny, all leaving a comment and whatnot! You made my day!
Seriously, you’re almost making me want to get married again. Yours will be the bestest wedding ever! All those choices sound good and as long as they throw in some Bacon, you cannot go wrong. If I must pick just one, I think I’d go with #1, but the pick and choose sounds awesome too.
~FringeGirl
Thanks for voting!!! As soon as bacon and mac-n-cheese were mentioned, I knew we would work just fine together!
Having had more then my fill of anything chickenized (being staff at many weddings means we get what we are given) I am pretty much a fan of everything offered! Though it may also be because I am hungry right now and my stomach is growling just reading it! If forced to pick at gun point I would probably go with #1. Or possibly 2, 3 or 4. Hope I am helping here.
Dude, you are kind of brilliant at narrowing it down
“
I’m in the same predicament. I’m tempted to send the guys at B&C a note that reads: “I’m fat. PLEASE don’t make me choose
I can’t get past the Mac-n-Tini bar! Nom nom nom nom nom …
#1 gets my vote – and maybe add grits in champagne glasses!
I know! When Paul first mentioned them, I zoned out. Really, I stopped listening to anything else that came out of his mouth. All I could do was day dream about some beautiful mac-n-cheese with a glowing halo around it.
A great post! Clearly you got everyone talking! The catering company do sound great!
The sliders and ham both sound awfully difficult to eat if they’re passed as finger foods, otherwise I vote for Option 1.
Yeah. They are a little tricky, but we wanted to have a few heavier items so people feel like they can eat a whole meal or just snack!
I like option 4 as you can pick n choose from all the other options
But I have some suggestions as I absolutely love food!
I love the Mac-n-tini idea and the wraps with lemon almond chicken sounds yummy!
Potato salad
cheese straws and a sickeningly sweet punch
some good ole fried chicken with some fries
mixed bean salad
corn bread
hash brown casserole
I think that’s all but everything sounds so great – this is the part that I would get stuck at if I were planning a wedding
GOOD LUCK!
Roo! I LOVED the picture you posted on FB. The cookie & milk idea is awesome!
I don’t know how I got on as you, Tor! I agree with your sister….grits in some fashion = must have! I love all the choices!
Hacker McHackerston. You should be ashamed of yourself
I think we might do half grits half mac-n-cheese. Tom hates grits, but I decided to marry him anyways 
I love the the grits in a champagne flute idea, and really mac n cheese is a southern must! Also anything wrapped in bacon works. I think id have to say #1 cause I’m a pulled pork junkie and sweet potatoes should NOT be in cornbread! Or #4 cause I like mix n match EVERYTHING! lol good luck the menu from our wedding was our favorite and easiest part. We did a buffet with all southern food! It was awesome! Now picking out cake flavors, fillings, iceings that’ll make you head spin and give you a tummy ache. I still have nightmares of mini cakes and assorted filling cups…ugh ( chills ) I might have to skip that vote!
Haha! Are you kidding? Having to stuff my face with cakey goodness is what I describe as THE MOST PERFECT DAY EVER! Also? Stuffing my face with bacon and bbq comes in a close second!
I love #1 but # 4 is good if you have people who are allergic to things or so forth.
Hey girl heyyyyy. Thanks for voting! We are doing Bridesmaid’s jewelry next week! I’ll send you a message so you can look at the samples! Super cute!!!!
I’m all for Option # 1
Pulled pork is SOOO yummy. What a great company to go with – great options!
Thanks for voting! I’m so glad you guys are choosing. Everything sounds so good that I knew I would just tell B&C to make all three menus.
Don’t know if I can judge. Each menu has something delicious sounding. I’m not exactly a southern food officianado or an expert on the pork products (although I do love bacon). Good luck.
I think bacon is the world’s greatest treasure. I’m not kidding. I can’t think of a single situation in which bacon doesn’t fix everything for me.
#1, but substituting the ham on sweetbread w/peach relish as the main sandwich.
I’m sending you the bill to repair the drool-damage to my keyboard.
Yes. Send me the invoice. I’ll send mine along with yours to the caterer!
#1 sounds delicious!
Thanks for voting, lady!
Thanks! Now…not only am I uncomfortably hot…..but I am now STARVING!! I just chewed off my bad foot reading this post!
No! Not the foot! This was actually the hardest post I’ve ever written. I’ve been eating “healthy” (read: miserably) for a month and having to type out the mac-n-cheese ten times just about made my head explode
I stopped reading at option one. BBQ, corn bread, mac and cheese, deviled eggs and chicken salad. shut the front door. I am getting married in Nashville for this reason alone. Option 1. Do not listen to anybody else.
I know, right? I’ve just been slobbering all over my computer thinking about it!
#1 was soooooo my wedding menu.(Minus the mac-n-tini bar. Genius!) I kid you not! Like you, we wanted something less ordinary and more representative of where “home” is/was for us.So my vote goes to #1…..although, #2, #3, and #4 all sound equally delish! (I’m no help, am I?)
Fun! I am pretty in love with the idea of mac-n-cheese in martini glasses. Wait. Come to think of it I am in love with mac-n-cheese, period.
South Texas loves #1…BBQ is special to our taste buds – pulled pork, wow!
I am a BBQ fan myself!
You had me at pulled pork sliders.
Yummmmm. I’m kind of peeved this wedding’s not happening until April. I’m starving!
Shrimp wrapped in bacon? Yes please! So my vote is for option 3! (I like the ham too).
Actually, Option 2 looks pretty tasty too…. I really like the mac&cheese version instead of a grits version though.
I’m late, i’m late!
BACON! I love all of the food on that list. Seriously, can I come to your wedding? you might be nearly on the other end of the continent from me… but this looks like my one opportunity to go to a wedding and have amazingly ridiculously awesome food, and not blah-chicken or overcooked-till-its-dead-steak.
Ihave no vote… all of that food made me wish i’d packed something different for lunch. Do it all
I already asked the caterer if I could trade him my car and possibly house to have all the menus at the wedding. We’ll have to stick with one, but it’s going to be eight kinds of yummy!
definitely option #3. will you include six different flavors of Jello ?
Thinking about it. I was all about handing out tiny tins of SPAM to the guests but Tom wouldn’t allow it
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