For years the words consumerism or retail therapy have been largely associated with the female population. Women shop, primp and fuss over their appearance, care what their kids are eating, and have an unquenchable desire to be up-to-date on the latest household cleaners and window treatments. Between the genders was a thick line, grouping men in the casually oblivious category, while the lady folk clicked in high-heeled circles in the area reserved for Multiple Store Credit Card Holders. Women need a beauty regime, Jane Fonda-ed fitness regimen, and lengthy lists of cooking supplies to be culturally acceptable. Men, however, are considered abundantly masculine if they own a power tool and a flannel shirt. Accordingly, advertising and marketing campaigns have mostly been geared towards women, the shoppers and cleaners of the world. Convincing the missus of the household that Fruit Loops contain a whole serving of “fruit” or that stretch marks really can disappear with a magical blend of expensive oils has provided a surefire way to keep your company afloat.
No more, my friends. Whether from the influx in women returning to the work field, the increase of stay-at-home dads, or the sudden realization that The Man was being marketed to only after the lady, the child, the babysitter, and the cat, big time companies are finding the value in appealing to the Hip Husband Demographic. Soft music and gentle words selling tampons to cramp-cringing girls have given way to the Man-mercial.
Enter pyrotechnics, sex panthers, and 80′s Metal.
It’s enough to make even the baddest biker dude want to tote the kiddies to ballet class. Brilliantly, ad execs covered all genres, to ensure your hip-hop husband is thoroughly enamored with the thought of cruising in a van as well.
My fiance, a sweater-vest and Sunday-golf type, has requested we switch out our new Jeep for a newer Swagger Wagon no less than 382 times. This man, normally only concerned with sports and business deals, is now the go-to expert on the various amenities a van can offer. Did you know that vans are top-safety award recipients, come in cool colors, and feature gadgets like DVD players and hidden compartments for your sunglasses? Thanks to my enthusiastic partner, I. DO. NOW.
It seems the concentrated marketing efforts have swapped gender goals. From investing and trading to the apparel a Manly Man’s child will wear, current commercials have all but stopped influencing the image, decor, and cuticle cream a modern woman will buy, and caused a wave of new-age men eager to check out the product of a funny, bad ass, or sports-themed ad.
Yes, Hot Dad. Dress your kid like an Italian Stallion for a quick trip to the market. Enjoy the adoring stares of fine girls. Who cares if they’re marveling at your kid? It’s practically like they’re goo-ing and gaw-ing over you!
Baby? You have a baby, Modern Dad! Hopefully your baby will be articulate or (more importantly) a Tiger on the golf course and a comedic riot in the locker room. We enjoyed a good chuckle with this one. Two days later, I think our funds were invested and traded and earning free interest money. Nothing like an athletic Ally McBeal Baby to get The Man to whip the finances into shape!
I am confident this change in advertising is a good one. Our television time is spotted by laughter and constant commercial re-winding to laugh again. Before, it was a three-minute span of depression in which I took a mental note to remember to buy toothpaste while the men in the room stared blankly at the screen, willing the game to just come back on. Really, the current branding trend of catering to the humor, self-image, and competitive nature of men is priceless for….The Woman. The possibilities are endless.
1. Cascade could launch a series of commercials featuring a burly, weightlifter bench-pressing stacks of spotless dishes. Hey, Husband! Do you want to be an athletic picture of sweat and strength? Load the dishwasher, dear.
2. You know what proves a bro’s worth? Vacuuming. Dyson releases a new carpet cleaner with their unique Ball™ technology. The “I’ve Got Balls™ ” media launch will send record numbers of eager-to-clean males swarming the home goods aisle of Target.
3. Nothing says sexy like a cheddar topped casserole. Paula Deen’s much hotter little sister (Oprah’s not the only girl with surprise siblings!) appears on ESPN, hawking slick, black bakeware for the stud muffin-maker. Select pans are autographed by Gene Simmons and feature studded, heat-resistant handles. Mom’s off dinner duty tonight!
What would you like to see marketed to the Boy Brigade?
Oo! Oo! Laundry! Something like a strong man lifting a giant Sam’s club sized Tide detergent dispenser with a loud Ford-truck-like crash onto the laundry room shelf. Opening the washer door with a mighty metallic screech. Hard rock playing potently in the background. He rips off his mud-caked t-shirt, gloves, and jeans–the camera does not pan down because that would be a woman’s commercial. He gives the camera a cocky little grin as his jeans go in with the rest of the wash. Coolly, he pulls out a Bounce color trapper sheet (this is an equal opportunity commercial, I suddenly decided…for convenience’s sake) and tosses it into the machine. He sets the dial with manly force, his muscles rippling, veins twitching in his massive forearms. After dispensing the Tide into the machine, he lets the lid fall with a mighty metallic crash. The woman of the house appears behind him, in a near-swoon overcome by her man’s obvious masculinely sweaty scent and his laundry prowess. He reprises that cocky grin again, effortlessly sweeping the woman off her feet and seductively carrying her to the bedroom. Dude. Will. Score.
Yes…that ad campaign will surely teach my husband how to do laundry, yes? Yes. (Or…at least, it will encourage my happy ass to remain glued to the couch in hopes of seeing the commercial just one more time.)
Haha. This could also be a highly effective Cialis commercial…I’m just saying. It would sure beat the “couple sitting in separate bathtubs in the middle of a field”. I’ve decided rock music, sweat, and the suggestion of attractive women could pretty much sell ANYTHING to ANY man.
I love, love, LOVE your marketing ideas. The Dyson one really cracked me up because we have one and my husband claims he doesn’t know how to use it (really??? do I look like I’m that stupid? You plug it in, recline it and push the “on” button – quite similar to the Hoover we had that he could operate just fine.)
I think there should be an ad campaign for ‘manly’ toilet brushes. They could have the colors/logos of their favorite NBA, NFL or MLB team. “Real men scrub toilets” or “Spotless is sexy” could be the slogan. I’d like to see the (shirtless) muscled man scrubbing the toilet and wiping the pee off the outside of the toilet bowl. They need to send the message that toilet cleaning makes men more appealing/attractive.
As the only woman in a house full of men/boys, I think this ad campaign is waaaay overdue.
Men have a funny way of feigning dumb sometimes, don’t they? My fiance made a rule that the last person up has to make the bed. In the beginning of our relationship this meant that I was the sheet tucker. For the last year, I wake up earlier, but he fails to make the bed. I reminded him of HIS rule, and he stared at me like I was lying in Chinese!
I think the “Spotless is sexy” idea is genius! It could be like the Old Spice commercials but with more toilets and scrubbing.
This is a great post, Tori. Wouldn’t mind having dish-doing made more appealing to the woMAN in my life!
Haha! Good point. I think it is hilarious that no matter the gender, age, or general personality, there is always ONE person that doesn’t do the chores. After living with roommates, boyfriends, parents, and siblings, it never fails that a certain someone hates making the reach from the sink to the dishwasher
NOTHING!! My husband discovered shopping and the internet. Bad, bad, bad. It has made him more likely to cook, but in the meantime, our checking account is always lower than I expect. Can I tell you what happens when you send a man to the store for one item? Why did he need a cart for that?!?! Oh, it was for the 14 other things, places at appealing eye level, that he just couldn’t resist, or was “meaning to get anyway”. If we are going to have ads directed at men, we have to teach them resistance.
However, I do watch the Superbowl for the ads. If anyone remembers the “herding cats” commercial, that is still my all time favorite.
I know SO many men that do the same thing. If there is a commercial for Kroger’s “10 Steaks for $100″ sale, you better believe my freezer will be packed with half a cow we do not need.
DITTO! My husband loves to shop and has expensive taste to boot. In fact, last night when we were, ahem, watching The Bachelor (for research purposes of course), we had a laugh about how the ‘shopping spree date’ would have been right up my husband’s alley, whereas I would have been like ‘meh, this isn’t really my color/style/length/fragrance/fabric’.
Haha. I just pictured your husband whirling in a frilly ballgown. I’m like you. I’d be the girl asking if we can scratch the diamonds-and-dresses idea and just go for a beer.
I am a sucker for many of these ads, I must admit. Ask my wife, she’ll tell you. The last time we were at the grocery store, I tried to sneak a jar of Axe hair putty into our cart without her noticing because the guy in the commercial gets sniffed by random women in the elevator. My attempt was foiled when Izzy said “Dada…bottle” and Jen turned around. Oh well. I must say thanks for adding the Etrade baby to your post. He is my favorite. “You moved your ball!” “It was on the cart path…try reading the rules, Shankapotomas”
Haha! I thought about marketing a Starch that smells like Axe, so you boys can do the ironing and still get sniffed by hotties. The Etrade baby is a favorite in our house too. The dudes will rewind the commercial and watch it at least three times in a row.
While this is super funny, you are so right about what can be done when you package a product, any product, with an image! Nearly everything we are being sold, is given an image. How sexy is that giant Hardee’s burger? Well, as sexy as that pretty girl licking her fingers.
The Sexy Hamburger ads crack me up. Paris Hilton obviously doesn’t eat the XXL Value Meal on a regular basis, but a man can dream can’t he?
The superbowl is coming up, so I am sure there will be some great new ads to entertain us. By the way, buying a new vacuum only gets me excited to vacuum once, when it is fresh out of the box. After that I just go back to watching TV ads.
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Spot on as usual. Thanks for the laugh!
Listen, I’ve been the minivan dad. Toyota Sienna XLE. More comfortable than my living room. Every option except the power side doors. As reliable as death and taxes. And I absolutely hated it. It was the most boring vehicle I’ve ever driven. No matter how hard you mashed down on the gas, it accelerated at a leisurely pace. The steering was Novocain numb. It wallowed around corners.
The Swagger Wagon spot works because of its absurdity. But no man who’s ever driven a minivan will ever buy the panther/heavy metal spot. Sorry.
Yeah, The Sex Panther MiniVan was a bit of a stretch! I think it is hilarious that of the two of us, my fiance is the one pushing for the van
Birth Control!
(Nope, it’ll never happen. Sorry Ladies, but you will have to continue to be the responsible grownups. )
We bought a Sienna, 2 years ago back when it was still marketed as a grocery getter & soccer Mom-mobile. Who knew I was such a trend setter?
All I can add is that if car companies want me to buy there products they should continue to place Nataly of Pomplamoose in their commercials. I could watch those all day…
Hahaha. You were a hip husband and didn’t even know it!
I have never seen the Swagger Wagon commercial, but it’s now my favorite. That’s hilarious! Can we see a commercial that makes leaving the toilet seat up look really hip and un-cool? That would be a bitching PSA.
Isn’t it funny? I like when he gets up and smacks the teacups off the table! I’m with you… it could be like the Anti-Drug campaigns, “This is what a douche you look like when leaving the toilet seat up”.
Let’s see. My husband can fix a car, heft a chainsaw, wire a smart house, and fix the roof, but he doesn’t know how to operate a dishwasher. Maybe they should market dishwashers a little more like chainsaws. There’s something ferocious about the whir of a suds machine. Really.
-FringeGirl
Haha! A man’s ability knows no bounds…except bed-making and dish-loading
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